Stewed Rhymes Read online

Stewed Rhymes

  Gerrard Wilson

  Copyright 2014 by Gerrard Wilson

  Jack and Jill

  Don’t be a Gadabout!

  Mary Had a Little Lamb

  Ring, a Ring, a Rosies

  Wee Willie Winkie

  There was an Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

  The Owl and the Pussycat

  Miss Polly Had a Dolly

  The Queen of Hearts Baked Some Tarts

  Lavender Blue, Dilly, Dilly

  Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall

  I Know an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Gnat

  The Grand Old Duke of York

  Here we go Round the Mulberry Bush

  Baa, Baa, Black Sheep

  Old King Cole

  I’m the King of the Castle

  Three Blind Mice

  Whiz-Popping

  How Much is that Doggy in the Window?

  Little Miss Muffet

  Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

  Hickory Dickory Dock

  Hey Diddle, Diddle

  Rub-A-Dub-Dub

  The Man in the Moon

  Bonus Feature

  Jack and Jill

  Jack and Jill went up the hill,

  To fetch a pot of distemper.

  Jack saw it first then picked it up,

  But Jill came running faster.

  *

  “I want that pot!” said Jill so loud,

  Jack feared for life thereafter.

  “You can have the pot and distemper too!”

  He said, pouring it over her head, with laughter.

  *

  Hickety, Pickety My Black Hen

  Hickety, pickety, my black hen,

  She struts around and around again.

  I wonder will she lay me an egg,

  ‘Cos if she don’t I’ll roast her leg.

  Don’t be a Gadabout!

  If you chose to walk alone,

  Down country lanes far from home,

  Don’t be shocked if someone jumps out,

  And says hello to the gadabout,

  Who strolls around like he owns the place,

  Each yard and inch, each wall and gate.

  You might well say it’s him not me,

  Who has a problem with affinity.

  But I tell you this, in truth, steer clear,

  From spots remote near park and weir,

  And if you chose to heed my call,

  Your life will be good; you will not fall.

  Mary Had a Little Lamb

  Mary had a little lamb so round, so fat, so plump,

  It tried to follow everywhere but it couldn’t even jump.

  *

  One day while she was not at home it opened up the door,

  And trotted smartly down the road to find its Mary, dear.

  *

  Despite it searching high and low,

  The poor lamb could not see,

  That Mary had eloped and gone

  With Jill’s young Jack, hee hee!

  Ring, a Ring, a Rosies

  Ring, a ring, a rosies,

  A pocketful of posies,

  Atichoo atichoo,

  We all fall down.

  *

  Dancing round the garland,

  Children all a’ starving,

  Atichoo atichoo,

  We all fall down.

  *

  Ring, a ring, a rosies,

  A pocketful of posies,

  Atichoo atichoo,

  We all fall down.

  *

  Lying in our bedsteads,

  Until we are dead dead,

  Atichoo atichoo,

  We all fall down,

  Atichoo atichoo,

  We all fall down.

  Wee Willie Winkie

  Wee Willie Winkie

  Runs through the town,

  Upstairs and downstairs in his night gown,

  Rapping at the windows,

  Crying through the locks,

  I’ve lost my keys, my feet are cold,

  AND THERE’S A HOLE IN MY SOCK!

  There was an Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe

  There was an old woman,

  Who lived in a shoe.

  She had so many children,

  She didn’t know what to do.

  She had no idea,

  How to rear them at all,

  So she sent them to boarding school,

  And then had a ball.

  The Owl and the Pussycat

  The owl and the pussycat went to sea,

  In a beautiful pea-green boat.

  They took some honey and plenty of money,

  Wrapped up in a five pound note.

  *

  The owl looked up to the stars above,

  And sang to an accordion,

  Oh, lovely Pussy, oh, Pussy, my love,

  Did you bring the pickled onions, my onions?

  Did you bring the pickled onions?

  *

  Pussy said to the owl, you silly old fowl!

  Did you think I had forgot?

  To bring the one thing to which you most cling,

  Your onions, be they pickled or not?

  *

  They sailed away for a year and a day,

  To the land of the onion tree, afar,

  And there on a hill, saw the biggest one still,

  Bearing onions, all pickled in jars, in jars,

  Bearing onions, all pickled in jars.

  *

  We shall take them right now, said the fowl out aloud,

  The onions, be they pickled or not.

  And they took them away sailing off the next day,

  Despite the gross weight of the lot.

  *

  They dined on this treat, but dared not to speak,

  All the way home in their pea-green rig.

  Then hand in hand, green-faced, on the dry land,

  They dashed to the toilet, so sick, so sick,

  They dashed to the toilet, so sick.

  Miss Polly Had a Dolly

  Miss Polly had a dolly,

  Who was sick, sick, sick,

  So she sent for the doctor,

  To be quick, quick, quick.

  *

  The doctor came,

  With his bag and scope,

  And he listened for a heartbeat,

  To see if there was hope.

  *

  But glancing down at Dolly,

  While shaking his head,

  He said, sorry, Polly,

  Dolly is dead, dead, dead.

  *

  What shall I do with her,

  Now she’s gone, gone, gone?

  That’s easy, said the doctor,

  Grow up and have fun, fun, fun!

  The Queen of Hearts Baked Some Tarts

  The Queen of Hearts,

  She baked some tarts,

  All on a summer’s day.

  *

  The Knave of Hearts,

  Did he steal those tarts?

  Did he steal them right away?

  *

  The King of Hearts,

  Called for the tarts,

  And the knave, to beat, for sure.

  *

  But the Knave of Hearts,

  Got off scot free,

  Courtesy of Alice, amidst furore.

  Lavender Blue, Dilly, Dilly

  Lavender’s blue, dilly, dilly,

  Lavender’s green,

  When I am rich, dilly, dilly,

  You’ll eat ice-cream.

  *

  Roses are red, dilly, dilly,

  Violets are blue,

  Because you love garlic, dilly, dilly,

  I’ll eat some too.

  Let the birds sing, dilly, dilly,

  And the lambs frolic,r />
  We’ll be happy, dilly, dilly,

  Eating ice-cream garlic.

  Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall

  Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

  Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

  All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,

  Laughed at old Humpty, broken, in pain.

  *

  “Will you please save me?” Humpty asked in his pain.

  “My shell it is cracked and so is my brain.

  If nothing is done by horse or by man.

  My time will be gone from nursery rhyme land.”

  *

  The king’s horses and also his men,

  Felt sorry for laughing at the egg in his pain.

  So fetching some glue – and super at that,

  They stuck him together, though he was ever so cracked.

  I Know an Old Woman Who Swallowed a Gnat

  I know an old woman who swallowed a gnat,

  What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

  The silly old prat.

  *

  I know an old woman who swallowed a lizard,

  That squirmed and turned and burned inside her.

  She swallowed the lizard to catch the gnat,

  What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

  The silly old prat.

  *

  I know an old woman who swallowed a bat,

  What a sap to swallow a bat.

  She swallowed the bat to catch the lizard,

  That squirmed and turned and burned inside her.

  She swallowed the lizard to catch the gnat,

  What was she at, to swallow a gnat?

  The silly old prat.